African American

I was trying to look up a good word to use for the many 30 year old losers, and I started at A's in the Urban dictionary and thought this was halarious.......No disrespect, but i'm sorry this goes into my last post...So what is the proper way? and this goes with all___Insert____ Americans...Makes you think African-American

A word mistakingly used everyday. Im a white guy, and I could technically be a african american if I was born in Africa, and thus, immigrate to America. Though black peoples roots are in Africa, they themselves were not born there. So that just makes them American, like everyone else born here.   A term commonly used to refer to American blacks, who by now are no more african than any other american.

Phillip Phillips won because he's "WHITE"

I can't believe people are making out american idol to be a "race dilema" just because the last 4 winners have been white males???....Jesus people get a life...what about the fact that a woman hasn't won? I'm sorry Joshoua, or Jessica, or Hejune didnt win. People need to get over the "race card" im sick of it, and blaming everything on the color of people's skin just because they lost or were wrong-

Just like when people try to tell me that I don't like Obama bcuz hes black, but if I was black and didn't like Obama then it would be ok?
I DONT LIKE HIM BECAUSE I am a REPUBLICAN and have DIFFERNT VIEWS

96% of african amercans voters voted for Obama, but If he had lost, would they blame the other races for his lost because he is African American?............ Probably

I mean it is pretty apparent that if you are African American than you automatically voted for Obama regardless of your views....Do you think I sound Ignorant? It is statistics afterall

Everyday I feel as if I have to tip around and hope I do not offend anyone because I am "white"...It is like I am forced to feel guilty..But for what??? Every time I question Obama someone questions ME if I am racist.

I can't be proud to be German because it means I am a Nazi
But you can be proud to be from Africa (when you probably do not know a single person or generation of family from there), or Mexico, or wherever else in the world, wave around flags and what not, and it is OK to do that....

When will I be allowed to:
Vote for an american Idol Contestant who happens to be white and not get criticized
Vote for a white president and be prou dhe is white
Wave around a German Flag
Be offened when someone calls me "white"
Have white history month
Have a blog/support group about all the problems you face as white people
Have a designanted all white college
Get pulled over and blame they pulled me over because im white
Blame all my problems on or why I got arrested because I have been "Racially profiled" even though I just stole a car
Have a designanted WHITE magazine, TV channe and Awards shows
My home gets destroyed by a natural disaster after I was warned to leave, but refused to...and get to blame it on the president because he's black
Blame the reason I didn;t get a job or go anywhere in life because I am from a bad part of town and didn't get opprotunities
Get grants and scholarships because I am white
The list goes on...
But no I will NEVER be able to do any of that...why? because i'm German- I MEAN WHITE

Please explain to me how this is fair?...I will never get to use the Race Card and everyone else will get to---
So STOP YOUR BITCHING if your not white, and STOP trying to make us feel guilty for nothing....If you ask me, your the ones that have it made
You get to walk freely and do and say whatever you want
I Don't...all I get to do is write a blog about it

If I was racists I wouldn't love Cam newton, Micheal Vick etc...I wouldn't have gone to CSU San Bernardino...I wouldn't be friends with anyone who is a different race...I wouldn't love/adore with my lil mexican landscapers....I wouldn't hire anyone who is a different race than me

Now stop telling me that because I am White I dont like Obama
and wanted Phil to win American Idol

Changing your last name is like Deep cleaning x10- a lot of work, grueling, but you have to do it

I got married in September. I wasn't in the biggest hurry to go and change my last name. My idenity is tied to my last name, no one calls me by my first name- My last name is who I am, what I am known by, and a form of security. The day I got married people were already asking me what they should start calling me, or if they are allowed to continue to call me "Z" or "ZIm" or "Zimmmmmerererer" or "Z-funk"- But of course my Husband is Macho and doesn't care about my struggle with giving up my last name. I love my Hubby and I am honored to take his last name, but give a women sometime to part ways with her Idenity.

But here's the main reason I took so long to do this- Because it's a lot of damn work. I thought to myself why the hell do we have to take time off work and endure everything that is the opposite of excting- the DMV and the SS office.But WAIT your not done, you have to go a month without identification, so there goes having wine at dinner, you have to change your name on every credit card you have- which requires 20 min wait times on the phone talking to India or at the bank sitting there while every person you've talked to needs to get approval on the computer from somone else to access or change anything. Then you have to change your card number on every automatic bill pay- Then change your name on all your bills, change your insurance's, make up a new signature, change your checks, your contact information, your voting registration, what else?

Why do women have to do this, why can't men? Because I know for a fact- that if my Husband had to do this there would only be two situations that could occur. Ethier I would have to change everything for him, or he would tell me to screw myself that he is not changing his last name because he doesn't have time to. Double standards to say the least. haha the joys of being the women in the relationship

How far have I gotten with this ridiculous process- Just the DMV and one Card. I wish it could all be done online, I would have been done months ago!

US already thinking CRAP, Why is this considered OUR day when we are suppose to please everyone else? This process is a lot of work, very appreciative, a beautiful day, but Eloping would have been much more "practical"

At last: how to do sarcasm online

*Sarcasm*. </sarcasm>. #Not! Since the dawn of the postmodern age, ironical writers have struggled to imbue the printed word with the nuances of sarcasm. Solutions involve signposting suffixes like "Joke!", so as to spell out any intended irony to those readers too thick to work it out by themselves. (Joke!) Only last year, G2 reported the invention of the "SarkMark", a piece of punctuation that has solved this massive problem once and for all. ;)In fact, it was such a great idea (not!) that another typographer has come up with perhaps the best solution yet: the "Sarcastic Font", a typeface that renders sarcastic comments in reverse italic script.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/shortcuts/2011/dec/12/sarcasm-online

Manifesto

For too long e-mails, instant messages, web pages and documents have been unable to fully communicate the subtleties of sarcasm. Text delivered without intonation fail to represent the rare form of language where the intended meaning is the opposite of the written word.

Over the internet we yell at each other with ALL CAPS and emphasize with bold and italics, but where is sarcasm? Where is the nuance, the elegance? We say it is time for a change. It's time for a revolution. It's time for a new font style!http://glennmcanally.com/sarcastic/

• Bold
• Italic
• 

Maybe this will solve my problems? But there will always be that one person that still doesn't get it...Shoot!

Whoremones

I ran across a blog called Tampons & Chocolate- Whoever this lady is, I want to meet her- She is how I want to parent, and who I want to be when I grow up. I am sure others are not fond of her parenting but I am allllll about it, considering her sarcasm is so refreshing to me as well!  Here is my favorite story of hers........

Sunday afternoon, after returning from her friend's house, my daughter came to me and said, “Mom, I think I have a urinary tract infection.”

Like any good mom would do, I asked her about her symptoms. When she told me she felt like she had to pee every five seconds, had blood in her pee, and it felt like she was peeing fire, I agreed that it did, indeed, sound like a urinary tract infection. So off to the doctor we went.

Now, before I go any further with this story, it's important you know a little bit about my daughter. First off, my daughter is a good kid. She is a straight A student and very mature and responsible. The two of us are very close and I have always made it a point to talk to her about sex and female issues. Sometimes I tell her more than she even wants to hear, but that’s just because I want to make sure she knows that I’m not stupid and also hope that it will help her to feel more comfortable to talk to me about such topics on her own (and so far, so good).

On the other hand, my daughter is also a teenager, and even at the young age of 14, there are lots of hormones running through her body. I know there are girls her age, and even younger, who are having sex already. I think it is horrifying, but they are not my daughters. However, when it comes to my daughter and sex, I am 100% certain that my daughter is not sexually active right now. And as for her urinary tract infection, I was 100% certain the cause of her urinary tract infection was not related to sex. So back to the story....

As I was driving my daughter to the doctor's (a 45-minute drive), she remained fairly quiet. I knew this was because she was trying her best to concentrate on not having to pee, because she did not want to have to stop and pee on the side of the freeway.

During the ride, I took the opportunity to talk to my daughter about how the doctor would probably ask her some personal questions about sex and whether or not she was sexually active. I told her that if she wanted me to, I would leave the room if she was not comfortable talking about something in front of me, but she insisted she wanted me there and that she had nothing to hide—she was not having sex. I then brought up the subject of what I figured was the real cause of her urinary tract infection (eh-hem...improper wiping). Her response was, “I know, Mom.”

After arriving at the doctor’s office, we got sent down to the lab so my daughter could give a urine sample. She had the grimmest of grim looks on her face as she entered the bathroom. Although she was relieved to be able to pee, she was not looking forward to the fiery inferno she knew she would experience. When she came out of the bathroom, she looked as if she was ready to hand her vagina to me and say, “Here! Take it! I don’t want it anymore!”

As soon as we returned to the waiting room, the nurse called my daughter’s name. She took her weight and temperature and then set us up in a room and asked about the reason for today’s visit.

My daughter went through her symptoms and the nurse entered them into the computer. The nurse then kindly shared the name of an over-the-counter medication, called Azo, that quickly eliminates that feeling of having to pee every five seconds. She told us if she ever got an infection in the future and could not get to the doctor right away, that medicine would be a big help in the meantime. She shared her own UTI story, letting my daughter know she knew her pain, then told us the doctor would be in after the lab results returned from the urine sample.

After about 10 or 15 minutes, the doctor entered the room. He was an elderly man with a bit of an Asian accent. He introduced himself then started asking my daughter various questions about her symptoms. I gave my input every now and then. The doctor took in all the information.

After a long pause, he finally asked, “Do you ever talk about sex with your daughter?” Knowing where he was going with this, I gave a little smirk and answered, “Yes, we talk about all kinds of stuff when it comes to sex and do so quite often. I can assure you she is not sexually active right now.” He looked at my daughter, she gave him a look as if to say, “You heard the lady.” He then typed something into his computer.

After another long pause, the doctor said, “Well, it does look like she has some type of infection going on based on the urine sample. However, it is not very common for girls her age to get urinary tract infections.” He then continued on with his medical knowledge.

Now, this is right about the time when I began searching through my own medical knowledge. Having worked as a medical transcriptionist for over ten years, having two urinary tract infections of my own over the years, knowing many other females, both young and old alike, who have had urinary tract infections, and recalling the nurse’s story about her own experiences with urinary tract infections, I told myself, “This bozo has no idea what he’s talking about!”

I sat there quietly though as the doctor continued with his sterotypical assumptions about my daughter. He then finally asked my daughter, “Are you sexually active?” and she answered in her best annoyed voice, “No, I’m not,” and stared him right in the eye. The doctor looked at her and then typed something in his computer again.

Finally, he came over and felt her neck and had her open her mouth wide and say, “Awweeeee.” Of course, I’m thinking, “Wrong end, Doc,” but I knew there was no need for him to examine her down below for a urinary tract infection. Even if he suggested it, I would have told him no, because she had never been examined down there by a male doctor before and I was not going to let him be the first.

After the doctor finished examining my daughter, he began to explain what the urine sample results showed so far. He said although it showed evidence of an infection, he would not know if it was due to the more common bacteria that cause urinary tract infections or if it was due to some other bacteria, like the ones found in various STDs. It would take three days to get the culture results back.

After his speech, the doc looked at me and asked, “Would you mind if I talk to your daughter in private?” I said, “No problem!” As I got up to leave the room, I gave my daughter a look that she knows very well—the one that says, “I told you so!” then left the room.

While I waited outside the room, the nurse who checked us in looked over at me as if she was puzzled. I smiled and said, “He wanted to talk to her in private.” She just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

After a minute or two, the door opened and the doctor said, “You can come back in now.” When I entered the room, I looked over at my poor daughter. She gave me a look that I knew had the words, “I HATE THIS F’ING DOCTOR!” behind it.

The doctor proceeded to tell me that he was going to go ahead and prescribe the antibiotic for the typical bacteria known to cause urinary tract infections, along with something to help with the burning sensation. But he warned us that the antibiotic might not work if the culture were to show some other type of bacteria, like the ones that cause STDs. I nodded in agreement, told him I understood, then we got our prescription slip and left.

My daughter and I walked out of the doctor’s office and back out past the waiting room without saying a word. It wasn’t until we were far enough away from everyone that I said to my daughter, “You know…I think the doctor thinks you’re a dirty, little whore.”

At that very moment, my daughter said, “I know! My GOD! He must have asked me at least five different times if I have had sex! I kept telling him NO! I even swore on my life!” I started laughing and my daughter, still in disbelief and trying to get over it all, finally began to crack a smile.

As we waited in the pharmacy for the prescription to be filled, we began to joke back and forth about everything. I thought up new names for her, like Princess Sluts-A-Lot and Whorezilla. One lady looked over at me as if mortified that I was saying those things to my daughter, but it just made us laugh more.

I then text my husband (her step dad) and said, “Apparently, your stepdaughter is a whore…at least that’s what the doctor thinks.” Having no idea what I was talking about, his response was, “What?” I then sent another text explaining what had happened and he text back, “What an ASS! How about improper wiping, or one of the other many possible causes…jerk!”

After getting the prescription filled, my daughter and I headed back home, continuing to joke about the doctor's visit the entire way. Just as we were turning into our neighborhood, I told her to try not to be such a whore next time. She then smiled at me and said, “I’ll do my best, but you know...I have a lot of uncontrollable ‘whore-mones’ in me.” I busted up laughing and thought, “That’s my girl!”